Were we born programmed to seek happiness?
Yes, we are super sensitive to drama, suffering, and basically anything negative, however, the wiring of our brain is designed to seek pleasure. We are also programmed to be in a group, we are very social beings. Mirror neurons make us feel and copy others’ emotions, that is why a baby imitates the faces made by their uncles for example. I, for example, consider myself happy when I find a connection between people and the environment. For example, while watching a sunset on the beach with my family, or when I play basketball with my friends.
For some of us, isolation makes us sad. Loneliness does not suit most of us, and we keep searching for company. Being together makes us happy, but why? Genes don’t care about our happiness, they care about reproduction. We humans have three brain systems that move us to reproduce and maintain the species: lust (desire to have sexual relationships), romantic attraction (regulated by dopamine), and the feeling of attachment (regulated by oxytocin which makes us stay together long term). So yeah, “all we need is love” we are «wired» for love. Our nervous and endocrine systems seem to be designed to make it easier for us to connect effectively. Dopamine makes us lose our minds in love and desire for someone and oxytocin helps us strengthen our bonds with others.
One of the most important theories of personality and motivation today is the Self-Determination Theory, which proposes that we have three basic psychological needs: to be competent (do something well), to be autonomous ( make our own decisions) and to be connected with others. Researcher Barbara Fredrickson specializes in the study of positive emotions and has found that love is the positive emotion we experience most often. Not only that, but love seems to be a combination of all the other positive emotions, such as curiosity and interest, joy, fun, serenity, hope, pride, and gratitude. Something important is that these positive emotions, and the love that combines them, can be cultivated. They are not something that comes to us or does not, but we can choose to behave in ways that foster these emotions and we can build loving relationships. A useful starting point is to pay attention to the other and appreciate the good in that person and in the relationship we have with them, whether we have just met them or have lived a lifetime together.
So answering the question “can love make you happy?”
I think it can.
Because the affection you can feel for someone is something out of this world. It can be someone like your mom, dad, brother, etc. Loving someone is special because you’d do anything for that person. You enjoy hanging out with them, talking to them, and for some reason, you want them to be happy. Love does make me happy, but I know some types of love can hurt you because it’s not mutual. I think love can make you happy, but also very sad, so it’s like a “double-edged sword”. Sometimes the people you love the most are the ones that can hurt you the most. But also they could be the ones to make you the happiest. Loving someone takes courage.
What do you think? Does love make you happy? Let us know in the comment section! If you liked this article make sure to follow us! Visit other categories from TP Times, I promise you will not regret it, there are plenty of interesting articles, for everyone’s liking.
References:
(2017, June 8). Mirror neurons: The most powerful learning tool – CogniFit. Recovered on December 2, 2021 from https://blog.cognifit.com/mirror-neurons/
(n.d.). Brains Do It: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment | Dana Foundation. Recovered on December 2, 2021 from https://www.dana.org/article/brains-do-it-lust-attraction-and-attachment/
(2021, March 15). Self-Determination Theory: How It Explains Motivation – Verywell Mind. Recovered on December 2, 2021 from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-determination-theory-2795387
(n.d.). Barbara Fredrickson – Pursuit-of-Happiness.org. Recovered on December 2, 2021 from https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/history-of-happiness/barb-fredrickson/
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